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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Making waves on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Spotted on Instagram:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
So true! 📺 It's like we were all stuck in a love-hate relationship with those childhood characters because, let's face it, the TV just didn't give us many options back then! 😄 It's a wonder we turned out as well as we did! #ChildhoodTVStruggles

beloved, character, childhood, entertainment, humor, nostalgia, TV

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12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

73 shares on X this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

67 shares on TikTok this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Breaking via Messenger:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Trending via Pinterest:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Breaking via YouTube:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

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