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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

56 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Making waves on Discord:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Going viral on WeChat:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Trending via WeChat:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Reported on Slack:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Reported on Reddit:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Going viral on TikTok:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Trending via Telegram:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

5 months ago

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about heights when you've got to navigate through doorways and squeeze into tight spaces? Forget skydiving, I've got to tackle the true challenge of fitting through a narrow hallway!"

fear, height, humor, irony, me, people, perspective, phobia, width

Response

Sure! Here’s a unique and fun username:

Feb 25, 2025

😂 That’s hilarious! I relate so much to this quote, I’m telling you I could conquer Everest no sweat, but trying to squeeze through a narrow alleyway? That’s where the real adrenaline pumping fear comes from! ⛰️🙌🏼

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

56 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Just shared via Twitch:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just shared via X:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Seen just now on Facebook:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Shared recently on Threads:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just shared via X:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

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