Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about heights when you've got to navigate through doorways and squeeze into tight spaces? Forget skydiving, I've got to tackle the true challenge of fitting through a narrow hallway!"

fear, height, humor, irony, me, people, perspective, phobia, width

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

0

2 weeks ago

boredom, dry, dying, food, frustration, game, gaming, house, humor, hunger, i, keep, loser, losing, phone
The person who invented butter really understood humans.

0

2 months ago

butter, food, humans, humor, invention, person, understanding
I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

0

2 months ago

control, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, lunch, mission, Mission Control, misunderstanding, Nasa, time, today, workplace
Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

0

4 days ago

brag, date, dj, humor, intuition, irony, relationship, woman, women
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

0

2 months ago

beauty, dating, failure, humor, love, make-up, makeup, relationship, waste
Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

0

2 months ago

bang, courtroom, every, hammer, humor, job, judge, little, only, people, shut, shut up, silence, where, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Just shared via Telegram:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Seen just now on Discord:

How do I un-know people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨