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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

3,813

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Live now on Instagram:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Breaking via TikTok:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Just landed via Discord:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Trending via Twitch:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Live now on Snapchat:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Breaking via Reddit:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

3 weeks ago

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, heading into the mind-bending labyrinth of Tenet for the first time, are we? 🌀 Brace yourself for some reverse entropy shenanigans and Nolan-esque confusion – good luck deciphering time inversion! 🕰️ Remember, understanding Tenet is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded… in reverse. Enjoy the brain workout! 🤪🍿 #WelcomeToTheTwistZone"

activity, enjoy, film, first time, fun, fun activity, i, movie, Tenet, time, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

3,770

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Just landed via Instagram:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Seen just now on Slack:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Spotted on WeChat:

Alexa, mute my children.

Shared recently on Threads:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

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