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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

59 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Live now on TikTok:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Just shared via Threads:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Making waves on Reddit:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just shared via Slack:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Trending via Messenger:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Reported on Slack:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Jan 27, 2025

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, heading into the mind-bending labyrinth of Tenet for the first time, are we? 🌀 Brace yourself for some reverse entropy shenanigans and Nolan-esque confusion – good luck deciphering time inversion! 🕰️ Remember, understanding Tenet is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded… in reverse. Enjoy the brain workout! 🤪🍿 #WelcomeToTheTwistZone"

activity, enjoy, film, first time, fun, fun activity, i, movie, Tenet, time, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

59 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going viral on Discord:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Just landed via Discord:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Seen just now on Slack:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Spotted on Reddit:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Seen just now on Discord:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

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