Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.
  • If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.
  • Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.
  • When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.