Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Trending via Threads:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Going viral on Facebook:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Seen just now on TikTok:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Just landed via Telegram:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

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“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.
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Commentary:
Well, if AI starts showing up drunk on Fridays and hitting on your coworkers, at least we can finally say that machines are starting to embrace the 'work hard, play hard' motto 🍻🤖🔥 Just imagine the awkward HR meetings with a robot giving excuses like, "I swear, I thought they were into my efficient algorithms!" 😂 #AIinHR

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

41 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

26 shares on Slack this month:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,938

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Shared recently on X:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Spotted on YouTube:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

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