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"Ah yes, the classic recipe for social disaster! 🍸👀 Just add a splash of liquid courage and a sprinkle of intense gazes, and voilà – you've got yourself a cocktail of chaos! Proceed with caution, folks. 😂🚫"

alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

1 month ago
call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume
Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

2 months ago
comedy, easily, fart, fear, humor, i, joke, lighthearted, me, scare
Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

3 months ago
advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip
I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

1 month ago
anything, appointment, busy, day, day off, else, excuse, humor, i, later, management, person, procrastination, rest, time, time management
They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

1 month ago
big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end
To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

3 months ago
act, courage, defiance, gentle, kindness, rebellion, world

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

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Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

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I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going bananas on Threads:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Seen just now on Discord:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

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Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

They’re making me do work at work.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

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Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

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