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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Shared recently on Twitch:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Live now on WeChat:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Trending via WeChat:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Making waves on Discord:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Alcohol: Your one-way ticket to avoiding responsibilities while staying in one spot! 🍻🏃‍♂️ #ProcrastinationStation"

alcohol, away, coping, drinking, escape, fun, humor, moving, problems, relaxation, run, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, conversation, financial, financial stability, humor, joke, money, right, room, situation, stability, us
Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

0

2 months ago

cowgirl, humor, i, media, position, post, reverse, reverse cowgirl, selfie, sexual, sexual position, social, social media
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

0

2 months ago

bite, distraction, eating, entertainment, food, good, humor, i, priorities, procrastination, refuse, single, something, take, TV
“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

0

2 months ago

asking, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, humor, irony, just, last, me, media, memory, moment, night, recording, social, social media, stop, video, videos
The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

0

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, house, housework, humor, minute, procrastination, sit, thing, tidying, worst
Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, dating, dating advice, humor, personality, relationship, sure, tip

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

27 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

48 shares on Slack this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

39 shares on Discord this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Making waves on Slack:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Just shared via Pinterest:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Breaking via Messenger:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨