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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

When Iโ€™m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

A toddler in their โ€œwhyโ€ phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Telling my coworkers I canโ€™t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesnโ€™t make me happy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Breaking via X:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think youโ€™re really cute.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Trending via YouTube:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Trending via Facebook:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Might make a living will because I donโ€™t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Alexa calling in the big guns for some arachnid warfare! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฅ Roomba, the spider-slaying hero we never knew we needed. Will this be the battle of the century or just another day in the life of smart home alliances? Tune in next time for the epic showdown! ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ #AlexaVsRoomba #SpiderSquad

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins canโ€™t help you now.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Iโ€™ll be like โ€œIโ€™m fineโ€ then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Facebook:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you havenโ€™t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You donโ€™t know what youโ€™re missing.

Making waves on Instagram:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Going viral on X:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Live now on Threads:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Just shared via Reddit:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just shared via TikTok:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

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