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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Trending via Facebook:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Just shared via Snapchat:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

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All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.
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Commentary:
"Technically speaking, we're all closer to being millionaires than Jeff Bezos… unless you're Jeff Bezos. 💸😂 #DreamBig"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Seen just now on Discord:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Shared recently on Messenger:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Making waves on Discord:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

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