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You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

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One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

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Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

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We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

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Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

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I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

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Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

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Give us this day our daily internet validation.