Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Going viral on X:

The world started without permission again.

Trending via X:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Just shared via Slack:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Trending via Facebook:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a designated panic room when you've got me around – turning any room into a panic room in just seconds! 💥😱 Just add a dash of chaos and a sprinkle of my presence, and voilà – instant panic mode activated! 🚨😅"

anxiety, funny situation, give, humor, joke, just, me, panic, panic room, quick, quick response, response, room, second, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

74 shares on Discord this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Going viral on TikTok:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Trending via Instagram:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

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