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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Breaking via Messenger:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Shared recently on Threads:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Just shared via Discord:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Going viral on Twitch:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Breaking via X:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

2 months ago

0

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a designated panic room when you've got me around – turning any room into a panic room in just seconds! 💥😱 Just add a dash of chaos and a sprinkle of my presence, and voilà – instant panic mode activated! 🚨😅"

anxiety, funny situation, give, humor, joke, just, me, panic, panic room, quick, quick response, response, room, second, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

0

3 months ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, charge, humor, i, life, mess, own, put, responsibility, self-control
Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

0

2 months ago

babe, couple, humor, joke, ok, playful, prophecy, relationship, sarcasm, witty
Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

0

1 month ago

brother, conversation, dinner, dinner conversation, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, humor, issue, issues, me, nicely, pair, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, unresolved, unresolved issue, wine
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

0

5 months ago

clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear
Have you tried complaining about it?

0

2 months ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Threads this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

51 shares on Discord this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

51 shares on Discord this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Just shared via Slack:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Just landed via Telegram:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Going viral on Reddit:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

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