Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Seen just now on Threads:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Spotted on Slack:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Going viral on WeChat:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Just shared via Facebook:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

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Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, perfect comeback strategy! Turn the tables and leave them speechless! 🤭👀 Just imagine their faces when you hit back with that line – priceless! 😂💥 Keep 'em on their toes with some sassy sass! 😏👏 #SassyAndClassy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

41 shares on X this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Drilling for oil is well boring.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Live now on WhatsApp:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Just shared via Instagram:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Going bananas on X:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Breaking via Facebook:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

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