WOLLONGONG—In an exclusive interview, area woman Becky Radford expressed astonishment at her potential attractiveness if she ever decided to prioritize her health. “Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body?” Radford marveled, while rummaging through her snack drawer for emergency jelly beans.

Friends report that Becky often fantasizes about her hypothetical physique, yet consistently rebuffs suggestions to act on it. “I mean, sure, I could have abs,” she declared, gesturing vaguely at her midsection, “but that sounds like a lot of effort and salad.”

Despite repeated acknowledgment of her untapped allure, Radford maintains her commitment to intellectual curiosity over physical change. “I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?” she reiterated, laughing as she tried to curl a bag of potato chips like a dumbbell.