Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My diet was going really well until I woke up.
  • The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?
  • I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.
  • I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.
  • I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.
  • Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.