Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Freshly posted on Slack:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Making waves on Messenger:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Going bananas on WeChat:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Live now on X:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Making waves on Slack:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Live now on X:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

2 months ago

0

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🌊🧜‍♀️ When life gives you rising sea levels, make a splash and embrace your inner mermaid! Who needs feet when you can have fins, am I right? Dive in and ride that wave of intrigue! 🌊🧜‍♀️"

alarm, always, concern, Earth, environmental, environmental concern, fantasy, humor, intrigue, level, mermaid, ocean, sea, sea level, someone, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

0

2 months ago

away, bunny, flew, glasses, humor, i, meadow, need, observation, saying, today, vision
I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

0

2 months ago

busy, busy day, day, humor, i, much, overthinking, planning, procrastination, thinking, tired, today, yesterday
Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

0

2 months ago

drink, drinking, gross, humor, i, joke, know, lead, misunderstanding, oh, only, powder, protein
Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

0

5 months ago

dance, humor, i, just, liking, move, music, sometimes, song, ugh, wish
Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

0

2 months ago

am, bold, casual, fact, full, honesty, humor, i, irony, me, phrase, relatable, self-awareness, worry
I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

0

2 months ago

apology, debt, humor, i, joke, left, me, money, past, responsibility, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,065

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Making waves on Reddit:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Breaking via Reddit:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Trending via YouTube:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Live now on Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Trending via Instagram:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Trending via X:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

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