Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Going viral on Snapchat:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Just landed via WeChat:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Just landed via Twitch:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Live now on Threads:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Making waves on Instagram:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Autocorrect: the tiny drunk roommate in your phone who thinks they're a spelling genius but really just creates a comedy of errors."

autocorrect, drunk, dumb, dumb thing, humor, person, phone, technology, thing, tiny, tiny person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

0

4 months ago

entertainment, every, humor, i, moan, moaning, music, neighbor, neighbors, pause, performance, rate, rating, sound, start, time
By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

0

2 months ago

back, communication, disrespect, disrespectful, even, humor, i, media, procrastination, remember, social, social media, text, texting, time, too
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

0

2 months ago

age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise
Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

0

5 months ago

breadstick, comparison, crust, devour, eating, eating habit, food, food comparison, food preference, habit, humor, pan, people, pizza, preference
I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

0

5 months ago

deserve, i, love, nervous, nervous system, pure, purity, relationship, rest, self-worth, system
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

0

2 months ago

activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Spotted on Instagram:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Going viral on Threads:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Freshly posted on X:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Seen just now on X:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Going viral on X:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Spotted on Reddit:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨