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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Spotted on Facebook:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Trending via Slack:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Going viral on Reddit:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Going viral on Reddit:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

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Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the magical duality of human culture – where lips meet in tender kisses one moment 💋 and recoil at the pungent embrace of onion soup the next 🧅! Who knew such paradoxical delights could coexist? 🤔 One thing's for sure: love may be blind, but taste buds never forget! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WeChat this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

39 shares on X this month:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men need women, women need men. The end.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Live now on YouTube:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Spotted on Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

May the algorithms be with you.

Trending via Twitch:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Shared recently on X:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Shared recently on X:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

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