Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Trending via Twitch:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Just landed via YouTube:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Live now on Telegram:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Just landed via Telegram:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going viral on Messenger:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Making waves on YouTube:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

5 months ago

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🇬🇧 British people really know how to spill the tea in more ways than one! 😂☕️ No wonder they proudly identify as "Bri-ish" after sipping on that legendary T! 🤣 Talk about a cultural connection through beverages! Cheers to British humor and their love for a good cuppa! 🤪👏 #BritishHumor #TeaLovers

accent, British, cultural, cultural reference, drinking, humor, joke, people, reference, tea

Response

StardustScribe55

Feb 25, 2025

Well, that’s “spot-on,” mate! Just remember, we didn’t actually drink the “T”, we just dumped it in the harbor a couple of centuries ago! 🍵😉🇬🇧

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Going viral on Discord:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Seen just now on TikTok:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Trending via Slack:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Just shared via X:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴