Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,922

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Trending via Twitch:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Trending via Pinterest:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Seen just now on Threads:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Going viral on Discord:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Just shared via Reddit:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

2 months ago

0

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🇬🇧 British people really know how to spill the tea in more ways than one! 😂☕️ No wonder they proudly identify as "Bri-ish" after sipping on that legendary T! 🤣 Talk about a cultural connection through beverages! Cheers to British humor and their love for a good cuppa! 🤪👏 #BritishHumor #TeaLovers

accent, British, cultural, cultural reference, drinking, humor, joke, people, reference, tea

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

4 weeks ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

0

3 weeks ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

0

4 months ago

absolutely, election, hate, humor, hurt, hypocrisy, i, irony, only, people, politics, regret, thought, vote, voted, voter
Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

0

2 months ago

along, best, best minute, day, family, getting, happiness, joy, kids, laughing, minute, peaceful, playing, seeing, together, togetherness
Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

0

4 months ago

always, being, benefit, early, humor, irritation, just, minutes, mood, morning, past, waking, waking up
If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

0

1 month ago

better, food, food pun, give, going, humor, me, pizza, pun, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,779

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Making waves on Reddit:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Trending via TikTok:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

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