Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.
  • Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.
  • Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.
  • Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.
  • Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.
  • I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.