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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

28 minutes ago

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Spotted on YouTube:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Trending via YouTube:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Just landed via YouTube:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Breaking via Instagram:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Reported on Twitch:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Live now on Facebook:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Jan 23, 2025

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

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Commentary:
Trying to debug your code feels like trying to solve a mystery where you're the culprit who left a trail of breadcrumbs – and those breadcrumbs happen to be a bit clueless! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Who knew being an investigator and a suspect at the same time could be so entertaining and frustrating? #ProgrammerLife

being, clues, crime, debugging, detective, humor, idiot, murderer, problem, problem-solving, programming, solving, tech, tech humor, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

28 minutes ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Reported on Pinterest:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Just landed via Reddit:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Spotted on X:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

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