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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Shared recently on Messenger:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Just landed via Messenger:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Trending via Instagram:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

2 months ago

0

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to debug your code feels like trying to solve a mystery where you're the culprit who left a trail of breadcrumbs – and those breadcrumbs happen to be a bit clueless! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Who knew being an investigator and a suspect at the same time could be so entertaining and frustrating? #ProgrammerLife

being, clues, crime, debugging, detective, humor, idiot, murderer, problem, problem-solving, programming, solving, tech, tech humor, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

0

5 months ago

annoyance, doing, humor, life, need, people, relationships, sarcasm, sometimes, stop
I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

0

2 months ago

back, fashion, head, humor, joke, man, relationship, sorry, sunglasses
Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, fun, hurts, relationship, sexy, time
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

3 weeks ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

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4 months ago

2, 6, alone, am, being, broke, day, debt, everything, faith, humor, man, men, optimism, sleep, stay, stereotype, still, wake, wake up, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is weird and then you die.

83 shares on Discord this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

May the algorithms be with you.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

15 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Trending via Telegram:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Making waves on Threads:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Trending via Slack:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Live now on WeChat:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Just landed via Threads:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

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