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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has shared:

β€œYou’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Just shared via Threads:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Seen just now on X:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Shared recently on X:

SomethΡ–ng wrong Ρ–n your lΡ–fe? There’s a nap for that.

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Playful quote about embracing imperfections and confidence in being uniquely awesome.
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Commentary:
"Who needs perfection when you've got awesome running in your veins! πŸ’β€β™‚οΈ Embrace the quirks and let your awesomeness shine brighter than a disco ball! ✨"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

92 shares on X this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

10 shares on YouTube this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Human hibernation should be a thing.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Making waves on Threads:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Trending via Messenger:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Just shared via Slack:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Just landed via TikTok:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Trending via TikTok:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

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