Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs perfection when you've got awesome running in your veins! 💁‍♂️ Embrace the quirks and let your awesomeness shine brighter than a disco ball! ✨"

awesome, confidence, humor, i, individuality, judge, me, perfect, self-acceptance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

6 days ago

freak, humor, ideal, ideal man, kindhearted, little, man, personality, relationship
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

1 week ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

2 weeks ago

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son
I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

6 days ago

business, candid, hate, hire, hiring, humor, i, interview, job, just, me, real, stand
Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

1 week ago

again, awkwardness, embarrassment, humor, i, never, own, recording, self-deprecating, speak, speech, voice
I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

7 days ago

airport, departure, departure gate, enjoy, gate, humor, i, joke, romance, romantic, romantic walk, travel, walk, walking, walks

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Spotted on X:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Live now on Twitch:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Live now on YouTube:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨