Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew hurricanes had beef with bullets? 🤷‍♂️ Better stick to researching weather patterns instead of playing Weatherman Rambo! 🌪️💥 #ScienceVsStorms"

advice, government, gun, humor, hurricane, irony, own, research, safety, shoot, skepticism, thanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

0

2 months ago

advice, boundary, house, humor, let, matter, move, move in, sad, sad story, story
“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

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1 month ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

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2 months ago

commentary, diet, eat, food, fry, humor, i, irony, planning, rich, salad, satire, social, social commentary
A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

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2 months ago

eww, gathering, group, humor, people, social, thank, thank you
So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

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2 months ago

comedy, excuses, humor, irony, rude, self-deprecation, solutions
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

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2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

54 shares on Messenger this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Live now on YouTube:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Just landed via YouTube:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Live now on Reddit:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨