“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

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If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

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Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

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My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

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Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

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If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

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I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

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If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.