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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: itโ€™s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Please donโ€™t ask me to repeat myself. I wasnโ€™t listening either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

โ€œI read 20 books this year!โ€ Thatโ€™s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,774

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Pinterest:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Breaking via Telegram:

Please be delicate with me, Iโ€™m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, โ€œOh, thatโ€™s where that comes from,โ€ every other page.

Shared recently on Messenger:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Playful quote about politicians quitting to spend time with families, questioning their influence.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family ๐Ÿค” But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ #FamilyApprovalNeeded

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police canโ€™t even stop you.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

58 shares on X this month:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

90 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you donโ€™t know if you can get it off again.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Iโ€™m not โ€œlateโ€, Iโ€™m just very creative with my interpretation of โ€œtimeโ€.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know Iโ€™m thinking of them.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If David Bowie taught us anything, itโ€™s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red noseโ€ฆ No, officer, I havenโ€™t been drinking.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet skiโ€ฆ and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Iโ€™m not crazy, Iโ€™m just mentally spicy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Called in, โ€œI can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? Iโ€™ve needed that in literally every job Iโ€™ve had.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Sending your selfies to NASA because youโ€™re a star.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on TikTok:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Live now on WeChat:

My addiction to buying things I donโ€™t need started at the school book fair.

Spotted on Discord:

Iโ€™m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years โ€œcurrent.โ€

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Trending via YouTube:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Seen just now on Slack:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Making waves on Messenger:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Trending via WeChat:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Just landed via X:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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