Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.
  • Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.
  • I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.
  • I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.