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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has shared:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Making waves on X:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Going bananas on X:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.
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Commentary:
"Buying vegetables is like entering a lottery where the jackpot is a healthy meal, but the odds are stacked against you πŸ₯¦πŸ₯•πŸ’Έ. It's a true test of optimism in the face of vegetable-related disappointments! πŸŒŸπŸ˜‚ #TriumphOfHope #VeggieStruggles"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

87 shares on Telegram this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t fall for me β€” I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, β€œNo. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think you misunderstood – when I said, β€œLet me look into it,” that meant, β€œI don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Metallica’s β€œNothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

β€œThere’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Going viral on Twitch:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Spotted on X:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Trending via Reddit:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Breaking via Messenger:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

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