Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spotted on TikTok:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Just landed via Twitch:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Spotted on X:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Trending via Slack:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Going viral on Facebook:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Just shared via WeChat:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about grocery shopping, highlighting the playful struggle with vegetable hopes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Buying vegetables is like entering a lottery where the jackpot is a healthy meal, but the odds are stacked against you 🥦🥕💸. It's a true test of optimism in the face of vegetable-related disappointments! 🌟😂 #TriumphOfHope #VeggieStruggles"

buy, every, experience, hope, humor, i, irony, optimism, over, shopping, time, triumph, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Just landed via Twitch:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Breaking via TikTok:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Trending via Slack:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Going viral on Messenger:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going viral on Twitch:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Live now on X:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

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