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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Just shared via Slack:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Just landed via Telegram:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Just shared via Telegram:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Making waves on Slack:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Making waves on Facebook:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

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Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of true gangster status – the dreaded 'fun fact reveal' at work events. 💼💬 It separates the real gangsters from the ones who suddenly can't remember anything interesting about themselves besides their coffee order! ☕️😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Telegram this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

58 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

28 shares on Threads this month:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more trips planned than I have money.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Spotted on X:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Trending via YouTube:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Making waves on Messenger:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Just landed via Discord:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

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