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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Trending via WeChat:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Trending via Threads:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Breaking via Discord:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Live now on Reddit:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about how grocery store rearrangements turn everyone into a gangster.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life's real test of toughness isn't facing the mob, it's finding where they hid the avocados now 🥑🕵️‍♂️ #GangsterGroceryStruggles"

aisle, aisles, around, confusion, everyday, everyday life, gangster, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, store, struggle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

33 shares on Threads this month:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

44 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

39 shares on Slack this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Trending via Facebook:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just shared via YouTube:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Just landed via Discord:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Live now on Instagram:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Breaking via Discord:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Breaking via Instagram:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Going viral on YouTube:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨