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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I only drink when I people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Just shared via WeChat:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Live now on Snapchat:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Just shared via Slack:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Spotted on Discord:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Just landed via Reddit:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

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Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔 Well, isn't it ironic how we fuss over the electoral college but end up putting all our trust in a furry meteorologist each year? 🦔🌧️ Let's hope Punxsutawney Phil doesn't start his own campaign trail anytime soon! #GroundhogForPresident 🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

67 shares on X this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

24 shares on Slack this month:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Just landed via YouTube:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Trending via Instagram:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Just landed via X:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

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