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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Live now on Pinterest:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Making waves on Instagram:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Just shared via Slack:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Live now on Messenger:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

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Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔 Well, isn't it ironic how we fuss over the electoral college but end up putting all our trust in a furry meteorologist each year? 🦔🌧️ Let's hope Punxsutawney Phil doesn't start his own campaign trail anytime soon! #GroundhogForPresident 🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Discord this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

66 shares on X this month:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

78 shares on X this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Trending via Discord:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Going viral on Threads:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

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