Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.
  • Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.
  • I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.
  • I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
  • My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.
  • I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.