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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Trending via Discord:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Just shared via X:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Just landed via Facebook:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Just shared via X:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally found a place where my strange thoughts can feel right at home…along with everyone else's! 🤪📱💭 #FacebookSavesTheDay"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Please twerk; I have just days left.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Just landed via Messenger:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

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