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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Trending via Telegram:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Just landed via Discord:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Going bananas on Facebook:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Just landed via Reddit:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Finally found a place where my strange thoughts can feel right at home…along with everyone else's! 🤪📱💭 #FacebookSavesTheDay"

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49 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

43 shares on WeChat this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

80 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

35 shares on X this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Trending via Threads:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

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Activity Log ✨

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨