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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,856

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Just shared via YouTube:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Spotted on Twitch:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Spotted on Facebook:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Making waves on Slack:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar… 🌟Looks like they didn't planet that way! 🪐😂✨"

bar, bruno, Bruno Mars, freddie, Freddie Mercury, humor, joke, Mars, Mercury, music, planet, pun, sports, venus, Venus Williams, walk, williams

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

4 months ago
80s, dancing, humor, i, myself, nostalgia, reflection, self, solitude, talking
I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

1 month ago
activity, both, friend, fun, God, hang, hang out, humor, i, same, test, testing, time, us
A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

1 month ago
beautiful, beauty, day, email, every, humor, never, send, should, social, technology, tragedy, woman
Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

1 month ago
away, bot, digital, digital life, follower, frustrating, frustrating bot, funny perspective, humor, interaction, life, losing, losing follower, media, online, online interaction, perspective, point, social, social media, think
Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

5 months ago
2022, before, ChatGPT, chopper, comparison, entry-level, entry-level job, getting, humor, impact, job, job market, last, last chopper, market, realize, release, taking, technology, technology impact, Vietnam
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

4 months ago
day, day off, days, humor, imagine, just, parent, parenting, responsibility, straight, thinking, work, working

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Seen just now on Telegram:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Just shared via YouTube:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Going viral on Slack:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Spotted on X:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

My love language is deader than Latin.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

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Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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