Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.
  • Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.
  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
  • I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.
  • Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?
  • My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.