Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Trending via Snapchat:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sane is boring.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Trending via Telegram:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Making waves on Threads:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar… 🌟Looks like they didn't planet that way! 🪐😂✨"

bar, bruno, Bruno Mars, freddie, Freddie Mercury, humor, joke, Mars, Mercury, music, planet, pun, sports, venus, Venus Williams, walk, williams

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

0

5 months ago

bro, control, humor, literally, media, mind, mind control, program, programming, satire, TV, TV program, us
If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, drink, drinking, enough, fun, fun activity, humor, karaoke, nightlife, social
I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, distracted, distraction, enough, got, i, music, person, personality, relatable, restart, song
Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

0

2 months ago

aging, days, emotional, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, miss, ol’, pain, worst
Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

0

2 months ago

advice, choice, dating, dating advice, expectations, flag, humor, modern, modern dating, red, red flag, relationship, tolerate
Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

0

2 months ago

breadstick, comparison, dip, food, food humor, funny comparison, garden, humor, joke, oligarchy, olive, olive garden, restaurant, restaurant joke, something, sounds

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Just shared via X:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Trending via Messenger:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Going viral on Instagram:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Just landed via Instagram:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Trending via TikTok:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Spotted on X:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨