Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.