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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

17 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Just shared via Slack:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Just landed via X:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Going viral on X:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Home » Funny Accomplishing Quotes

Funny accomplishing quotes

New funny accomplishing quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on mastering the art of productive procrastination! Remember, sometimes achieving nothing is an accomplishment in itself. Keep up the good work!"

For even more funny accomplishing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny accomplishing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

17 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Making waves on Instagram:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Reported on Discord:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Reported on X:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Just landed via YouTube:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just shared via Pinterest:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Going viral on Reddit:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

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