I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Commentary:
"Well, looks like someone misunderstood the concept of 'playtime'… Maybe they were picturing a very different kind of toy 😉 Pro tip: always clarify expectations before expecting a game night! 🎲🧩🎮"

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Commentary:
"Judging by your driving skills, I'm guessing you think Mario Kart is a reality show 🚗🍌😂"

What's said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred vow of the blanket fort! 🏰🤐 What happens in those cozy walls remains a mystery to the outside world…unless the snacks run out, then all bets are off! 🍿😂 #BlanketFortSecrets"

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🎉🔨 Imagine the sheer joy on their faces as they blow out the candles on a power tool-themed cake, surrounded by a backdrop of endless possibilities on the shelves of Home Depot. Just think of the party favors – tiny paint swatches, keychain tape measures, and of course, personalized hard hats for all the guests. 🎂🛠 Who needs a party venue when you can celebrate your special day aisle by aisle, right? 😄 #AgeIs

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Commentary:
"Who needs sports cars when you can get your adrenaline rush from spotting a rare blue-footed booby? 🐦👀 The only speeding this person is doing now is to catch sight of the elusive toucan! 🚗🕊️ #BirdLover #MidlifeBirding"

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Commentary:
"Looks like 9pm isn't just bedtime anymore – it's also the start of the 'I'm too tired for anything' zone! 😴 Who knew being an adult would involve so much sleep deprivation and early nights? 🤷‍♂️ #GrandmaBy9PM"

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"

Me, on New Year's Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Commentary:
Ah, a rebel with a decibel! 🎉 Why settle for a kiss when you can make a scream that’ll echo into the New Year? 🗣️ Better warn the neighbors, your energy is contagious! 😂 #NewYearsEveVibes

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Commentary:
Looks like she's trading in swiping left for strolling down the aisle… at the hardware store! 🔨🛠️ Forget love at first sight, she's looking for love at first wrench! 🛒 Who needs a dating app when you can find the perfect match in the paint aisle? 🎨 Let's hope her next relationship doesn't come with any assembly required! 🔧