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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

18 hours ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Trending via Reddit:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just shared via Discord:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Making waves on Reddit:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Home » Funny Activity Quotes » Page 5

637 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Commentary:
That moment you realize snacks are your true love language 🥨❤️🍫
3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Commentary:
Life is a road trip I measure by empty snack wrappers! 🍫🚗🎉
3 weeks ago
Share →: Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Commentary:
Who knew cats were secretly training us for the Olympics? 🏃‍♂️🐈‍⬛😹
3 weeks ago
Share →: Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Commentary:
Celebrating the thrilling amusement park ride that comes free with every haircut! 🎢💇‍♂️🎈
3 weeks ago
Share →: Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Commentary:
Why do dogs love rivers? They get to paws and reflect! 🐾😂💦
3 weeks ago
Share →: Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when my biggest worry was bedrock traffic 🚗🦖 Yabba dabba woohoo! 🎉
3 weeks ago
Share →: I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Commentary:
Arrr matey, I'm in! Just as long as there's WiFi on the ship for posting selfies with the kraken 📱🌊🦑
3 weeks ago
Share →: If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Commentary:
"Blindfold archery: Where the real challenge is finding out what you just destroyed! 🎯😂 #AddingAdventurousTwist"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Commentary:
Looks like I'm defying science and making waves! 🌊🍴😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Commentary:
Looks like pre-heating the oven has a higher success rate than shouting "dinner's ready!" 🍕😂

For even more funny activity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Trending via Messenger:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Live now on Slack:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just landed via X:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Shared recently on X:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Seen just now on X:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Seen just now on Slack:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Going viral on Reddit:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

637 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

For even more funny activity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

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