Wordgag ツ

Jan 25, 2025
Share →: My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Commentary:
💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Commentary:
"Ah, wise Yoda, the ultimate older man 🌟 When seeking guidance, who needs a sugar daddy when you've got a Jedi master? 🧙‍♂️ May the Force be with you as you navigate life's ups and downs, young Padawan! 🌌 #YodaWisdom"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect blend of wisdom and chaos 🚂💥 Who needs a life coach when you can just hang out with these 'train wreck experts' for some entertaining life lessons? 🤪🤷‍♂️"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Commentary:
"Pro Tip: Unless you want your snow angel to have a 'special' aroma… 🐶❄️ Just saying! 😂 #NotTheBestIdea"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Commentary:
"When faced with discomfort, simply channel your inner teenage self – the master of questionable decisions and rebellious choices! 💁‍♂️ But remember, this time opt for the mature and responsible route instead! Your future self will thank you for avoiding the drama! 🙌😅"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mornings, when one must prepare for battle against the elusive snooze button and the treacherous morning grump 😂☕️⚔️ Rise and shine, a warrior never sleeps in! 💪🌞"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic political strategy: convince everyone that you're the only honest one in a sea of deception! 🕵️‍♂️🤥 Who knew the key to trust was a well-crafted conspiracy theory? 😂 Just remember, it's all fun and games until people start questioning if even you are lying about lying! 🤔🤫 #TrustNoOne"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"