257 Funny advice quotes

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  Jan 22, 2025

  Share →: Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic reverse psychology at play! 🙈 It's like giving a kid a challenge they just can't resist. Don't touch that, they said. But now it's like a neon sign saying "Touch Me!" Kids are sneaky little rebels, aren't they? 😂 #CuriosityWins

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  Jan 22, 2025

  Share →: Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs brain health when you have memes and snacks, am I right? 🤷‍♂️🍿 #SociallyDistantButWellFed"

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  Jan 22, 2025

  Share →: What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the secrets of mountain climbing could be so simple? 🏔️ Just remember, folks, the real adventure lies in cozying up with a good book instead! 📚😂 #SafetyFirst"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, money can make people do crazy things, like murder! 💸💀 So, if you want to avoid any drama and stay safe, just stay broke and enjoy the simple things in life! 🤑🚫 #BrokeButHappy"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

  Commentary:
  🍝 "Who needs a time machine when you have a pasta maker? Change your carbs, change your destiny! 🕰️✨ #PastaOverPast"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a phone bill when you have carrier pigeons? 🐦📞 Dodging bill collectors like a pro! 😂💸 #FinancialHacks"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

  Commentary:
  😂 "Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something. Because nothing distracts you from a headache better than an intense toe-ache! Remember, pain is temporary, but the memory of stubbing your toe will last forever. 😅🦶 #LifeHacks"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of not sipping on a margarita while negotiating a higher salary 🍸💰 A clear mind leads to clear arguments, after all! Time to put down the cocktail and pick up the confidence instead! 🚫🍹 #RaiseNegotiationEtiquette"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, in the game of life, speed and stealth are key. 💨👟 Just make sure you also know when to hit the brakes and play it safe! 😜🚫 #FreebieHunting"

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  Jan 21, 2025

  Share →: Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, sharing is caring…unless we're talking about my illegal substances! Those are strictly for personal enjoyment only. 🙅‍♂️🚫 #FindersKeepersLosersWeepers"

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