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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

25 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Trending via Discord:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Just landed via Messenger:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Freshly posted on X:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Going viral on Telegram:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Reported on Pinterest:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Home » Funny Almond Quotes

Funny almond quotes

New funny almond quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Commentary:
Well, looks like those fancy almonds have been lying to us all along—it's just tree’s version of a home-cooked snack! 🌰😂 Next time you crunch on one, remember you're basically gnawing on a tiny piece of tree furniture. Who knew? 🌳🤭

For even more funny almond quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny almond quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

25 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Trending via Telegram:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Just landed via Reddit:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

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