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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Spotted on Reddit:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Trending via YouTube:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Funny archived chat quotes

New funny archived chat quotes 👇

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

2 weeks ago

archived, archived chat, chat, communication, conversation, dark, dark humor, digital, digital life, humor, life, media, online, online communication, place, social, social media, texting, WhatsApp, world

All funny archived chat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

50 shares on X this month:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Trending via Instagram:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Breaking via Instagram:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

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Funny archived chat quotes

New funny archived chat quotes 👇

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

All funny archived chat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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