Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Freshly posted on Threads:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Trending via Telegram:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Breaking via WeChat:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Trending via Reddit:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Funny arrange quotes

Funny arrange quotes are the perfect way to bring a smile 😄 and a little chaos 🎉 to your day! Whether you’re organizing your life or just need a laugh while sorting out the mess, these witty lines add a playful twist 🌀 to the art of tidying up. Get ready to chuckle and rethink your approach to arrangement with humor and style! 😂✨

New funny arrange quotes 👇

All funny arrange quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

44 shares on Discord this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

91 shares on X this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Going viral on TikTok:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Going viral on Slack:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Trending via Messenger:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴