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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Breaking via Threads:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Just shared via Discord:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Trending via Discord:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Just shared via WeChat:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Just landed via YouTube:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Breaking via WeChat:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

211 Funny behavior quotes

Funny behavior quotes highlight the quirky, unpredictable, and downright bizarre ways we humans act — often without even realizing it! 😂🕺 Whether it’s talking to pets like they’re people, pretending to be normal in public, or hitting “reply all” by accident, these quotes remind us that our behavior is a constant source of comedy. Because let’s face it — weird is the new normal! 😆🙃🎭

New funny behavior quotes 👇

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

2 weeks ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

0

2 weeks ago

actual, always, bad, bad music, behavior, criticism, ever, fan, fan behavior, fans, focus, meaning, music, music criticism, music fan, music taste, notice, song, song meaning, songs, taste, worst
I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

0

2 weeks ago

admire, baby, behavior, drop, hold, humor, i, just, parenting, something, toddler, want
If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

0

2 weeks ago

air, annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, finger, finger quotation, humor, interaction, introduction, job, job title, little, prank, quotation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, someone, title
I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

0

3 weeks ago

behavior, genre, house, house music, humor, i, introvert, joke, listen, music, music genre, only, personality, social, social behavior
Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

0

4 weeks ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, boundary, communication, elephant, humor, maybe, personal, personal space, respect, should, space, want
“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

0

4 weeks ago

anger, angry, behavior, humor, internet, online, online behavior, personality, unfortunate
Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

0

4 weeks ago

actually, app, behavior, happen, humor, media, monetization, money, online, online behavior, rage bait, ragebaiting, social, social media, thing, Twitter, worst
Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

0

1 month ago

another, bed, behavior, camera, funny behavior, illness, just, level, mental, mental illness, pretend, setting, setup, woke, woke up
There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

0

1 month ago

behavior, humor, irony, never, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pleasing, reason, social, social behavior

For even more funny behavior quotes, hit next 👇

All funny behavior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

86 shares on Threads this month:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Windmill? Big fan.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Trending via Instagram:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Shared recently on Threads:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Breaking via TikTok:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

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