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75 Funny behavior quotes

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

1 month ago

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

1 month ago

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

1 month ago

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

1 month ago

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

1 month ago

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

1 month ago

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

2 months ago

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

2 months ago

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

2 months ago

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

2 months ago

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

2 months ago

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

3 months ago

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

3 months ago

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

3 months ago

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

3 months ago

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

3 months ago

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

3 months ago

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

3 months ago

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

3 months ago

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

3 months ago

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

3 months ago

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

3 months ago

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

3 months ago

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

3 months ago

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

3 months ago

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

3 months ago

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

3 months ago

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

3 months ago

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

3 months ago