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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Seen just now on X:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Making waves on Messenger:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Making waves on X:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Making waves on Messenger:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Live now on Instagram:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Shared recently on Discord:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Funny being listened quotes

New funny being listened quotes 👇

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

2 weeks ago

being, being listened, feel, feeling, girl, i, listened, little, little girl, me, talking, trigger

All funny being listened quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

69 shares on X this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

97 shares on Discord this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Trending via Messenger:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Trending via Twitch:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Spotted on Telegram:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Going bananas on Reddit:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Spotted on Threads:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

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Funny being listened quotes

New funny being listened quotes 👇

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

All funny being listened quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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