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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Making waves on Discord:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Funny bus pass quotes

New funny bus pass quotes 👇

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

6 days ago

bus, bus pass, car, conflict, frustration, humor, key, pass, prank, relationship, revenge, want

All funny bus pass quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

19 shares on Discord this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

46 shares on X this month:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Just shared via X:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Breaking via Discord:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Spotted on Telegram:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

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Funny bus pass quotes

New funny bus pass quotes 👇

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

All funny bus pass quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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