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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just shared via Threads:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Going bananas on Threads:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Seen just now on Discord:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Funny Cairo quotes

New funny Cairo quotes 👇

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

1 week ago

Cairo, culture, dance, Egyptian, humor, i, injury, need, practor, pun, tried, walk

All funny Cairo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Slack this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

79 shares on Threads this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

33 shares on Telegram this month:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Just landed via Twitch:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Spotted on Reddit:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Just shared via Discord:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Making waves on Facebook:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

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Funny Cairo quotes

New funny Cairo quotes 👇

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

All funny Cairo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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