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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

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Funny cog quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Spotted on YouTube:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Breaking via X:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Just landed via X:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Trending via Telegram:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

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