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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Just landed via X:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Making waves on Twitch:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Seen just now on WeChat:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Making waves on Messenger:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Spotted on Twitch:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Making waves on Instagram:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Trending via Discord:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Trending via TikTok:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

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