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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Making waves on Telegram:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Spotted on WeChat:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Spotted on WeChat:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

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✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

91 shares on Discord this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Seen just now on Discord:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Just landed via Instagram:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

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