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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,798

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Pinterest:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Trending via Snapchat:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Making waves on Facebook:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Going viral on Slack:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Spotted on Slack:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Home Β» Funny Delivery Quotes

34 Funny delivery quotes

Funny delivery quotes πŸššπŸ˜‚ bring a smile to those moments when your package takes forever or arrives in the quirkiest way! Whether it’s about late arrivals, unexpected surprises, or the joys of unboxing, these witty lines capture the hilarious side of getting stuff delivered. Ready for some laughs and relatable vibes? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on the wild world of delivery! πŸ“¦πŸ€£βœ¨

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All funny delivery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

28 shares on X this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, β€œSo this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via X:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Trending via Instagram:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Just landed via Twitch:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just landed via Telegram:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

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