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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Making waves on Twitch:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Trending via WeChat:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Going bananas on Discord:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Just landed via Discord:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Breaking via Threads:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Spotted on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

28 Funny dislike quotes

Funny dislike quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when you just can’t stand something (or someone) 😜🙅‍♀️! Whether it’s annoying habits, awkward situations, or just everyday pet peeves, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter 😂🔥. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your social feeds, get ready to embrace the art of funny complaining with a smile! 😎✨

New funny dislike quotes 👇

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

13 hours ago

9, 9 a.m., a.m., am, dislike, humor, Monday, morning, person, relatable, start, start of week, tired, week, work
Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

17 hours ago

attention, attention seeker, cheesecake, dislike, food, food preference, humor, preference, seeker
Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

21 hours ago

book, book club, club, dislike, frustration, group, humor, just, need, opinion, people, read, reading, same, vent
Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

23 hours ago

dislike, employment, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, knowing, want, work, worst
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

2 months ago

dislike, expression, facial, facial expression, fire, humor, i, imagination, just, mean, sarcasm, smile, smiling
Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

2 months ago

dislike, everyone, humor, interaction, life, narcissist, personal, personal life, personality, professional, professional life, relationship, social, social interaction
There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

2 months ago

attempt, dislike, failed, failure, frustration, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, relaxation, sleep
Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

2 months ago

3, am, dislike, friend, going, hang, hangout, home, i, late, late night, night, only, person, place, sleepover, socializing, spending, still
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

2 months ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

2 months ago

allowed, consumption, dislike, entertainment, humor, i, media, opinion, people, preference

For even more funny dislike quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dislike quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

73 shares on Discord this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

69 shares on Slack this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Making waves on Telegram:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just shared via TikTok:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Going viral on Twitch:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

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