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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Going viral on Twitch:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Going viral on WeChat:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Just landed via Twitch:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spotted on YouTube:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Live now on YouTube:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Spotted on Slack:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Funny disregard quotes

New funny disregard quotes 👇

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

4 weeks ago

arrogance, confidence, disregard, ego, humor, most, peasant, peasants, people, pride, think

All funny disregard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending via Telegram:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Spotted on Slack:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny disregard quotes

New funny disregard quotes 👇

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

All funny disregard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨