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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Making waves on TikTok:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Making waves on Twitch:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Breaking via Messenger:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Trending via Facebook:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spotted on Threads:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Spotted on Reddit:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Going viral on Slack:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Going viral on Telegram:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

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